Chronicles of life

Never speak too soon, was what I was told when I proudly
declared that I love no babies or kids. To quote what Husna said: “When a baby
is born, God filled his mother’s heart with the utmost love one could measure.”
And she would suddenly acquire knowledge she has never learned before, from a
dummy on babies to a know-it-all mother; guess that’s what people call the ‘mother’s
instinct’. I was once too afraid to hold a baby, as a matter of fact, I had
never held a baby before. Now, whenever Ayden cries, I would dash to scoop him
up, cuddle and hush him all right. In every mum’s eyes, her baby is perfect –
in mine, Ayden is so adorable. He’s my light, hence the name Ayden, which means
fire, flame. I believe he has the ability to melt one’s cold heart, and he would
shine and glow like burning amber, and despite the fiery flame I found peace
and serenity in his innocent eyes. Spending days, weeks and dedicating every
minute observing, watching him grow just mesmerize me, I’m so “Look, how he’s
changed!” I noticed things that I never knew this tiny litty itsy bitsy cutie
pie would do. There aren’t words to describe enough the bliss and joy I feel
inside just by watching him grow each day. His blank stare makes you wonder
what he’s thinking, his occasional smirk makes you hysterical, his yawn makes
you sleepy, his frown makes you worried if you had upset him, his cry just
breaks your heart and makes you want to cry too.

Before even he was born, his daddy would always whisper to
him: “Be gentle Ayden, don’t kick mummy too hard”, “Don’t hurt mummy when
you’re coming out.” It might sound silly, but it must be a coincident that both
pregnancy and labour was a no sweat. He hadn’t given any morning sickness or
bizarre cravings, and labour was only 15 minutes minus contraction which was
merely back ache. Now, looking at him, feeling him with no belly-wall between
us, and even talking to him makes you wonder if he is the way he was inside.
Talking to him sometimes can be really exciting, especially when he seemed to
be responding to what you say. Don’t mothers just wonder, do babies understand
what we say? Of course, watching him sleep is even more entertaining than
Simpsons. Now I realize babies aren’t sound sleepers, they make funny yet
adorable sounds and noises that hadn’t got any onomatopoeia registered for
them. Better, they even smile and grin in their sleeps, and guess what, they
fart (really loud ones) too! I wonder if babies do have dreams. I read from
several articles that say babies dream when they sleep and it’s termed as REM
(Rapid Eye Movement) but the content and detail of the dream is unknown. If
this hypothesis is established, then babies must have emotions too, they would
feel proud, feel embarrassed, feel jealous etc.

I don’t know if this happens to other babies but Ayden is
behaving like an adult. He sleeps like daddy, and mummy sometimes. Prominently,
he would have his one hand under the pillow or cheek when he sleeps side ways,
and legs curled up – that’s how I would sleep. Or, he would sleep on his back
with both hands thrown to the back of his head, like his daddy. Recently, he
would let out a short loud cry or scream moments before he farts, and stop
abruptly after. From the medical perspective, I hope he isn’t suffering from
any pain or illness, I really don’t think he’s constipated as his feces is in
perfect texture :P. After diagnosing the symptom, I figured out that: he’s
camouflaging his fart with loud scream to distract, lest people would notice
him farting. The root of the problem dates back to his first two weeks - before
this, he would fart generously disregarding whatever and whoever around him.
But we would always tease him “Ayden has got the smelliest fart!” “Eee, Ayden
kentut! BUCUK!” “Ayden schmelly fart fart!”

Guess he could understand what we said, maybe he felt
embarrassed. Therefore, now he would scream real loud for no apparent reason
moments before he explodes wind, in hope to drown the volume of the fart with
his scream. But when he sleeps and doesn’t realize what he’s doing, he farts real
loud without any screaming or crying.