For the years before, i wished for wisdom…hence the obstacles God gave me - to grow me into a stronger and wiser person. I believe i have learned well and acquired the knowledge of life sufficient enough for me to continue this journey independently. Towards the end of the year, you tend to reflect a lot - on what you have done and achieved in the year. Nothing but reflections these days…i realised what’s really important on birthdays; birthday is not about presents but presence, not reminder but thoughts. I yearn to have the presence of love ones with me on my birthday…i want my gummy bear.
Two years that he couldnt be there on my birthday - - i dont hate him but…at least he took the effort ot have an early birthday celebration with me. Still, i prefer to have him on that special day. Thank you for the two dresses you gave, and the card too. I love them so much…but where’s my cake B? My housemates got me a cake last year…and we dropped our primate a visit after the celebration - but it was an early celebration before i come back on my birthday to meet u rite B?
This year, im celebrating with Er and friends…it has been ages since i celebrate my bday with her. I guess that’s what really matters - the presence of friends…and love ones..dun worry, will eat more as u nagged me to - will have another celebration again with family on my lunar bday which is the following saturday. Im content to have my lovely friends around….promise me, next year will be better? I wish for "presence" this year - -i wish to always have you around me and my friends too…

My Pee-Reminder Victims:

1. (First) Yvonne Wu (Her reply - Time to Poo)
2. Hubby (His reply - i love you)
3. Bro Zack (His reply - Time to have sex)
4. Husna
5. My son, Ash (His reply - Mummy i wet the bed)
6. Uncle Nicholas Jeffrey
7. Berthram
8. Emeric
9. Steven Au
10. Christine
11. Shane
12. Adrian Kho
13. Gayathri
14. Reena
15. Mol
16. Nuha
17. My Sister (Her reply - shit lah u)
18. Sofee
19. Tasneem
20. Shasha
21. My Mum (Her reply - so?)

YH’s testimonial sounds like i have become a fallen angel…oh, i "was" good and now that i have became the opposite…no wonder im so fond of 666…i feel evil. guess that i have drifted. KYH!!! I have not changed! Im still as playful, as naugthy, as helpful (ehem), and as good… well, at least i dont smoke or drink…about me being sociable - hmm, i doubt that’s true…coz i dont fancy clubbing and being in crowds…im agoraphobic u see, and im allergic to smoke - gimme headache. I’m more to a zen person…(eew)

Favourite love songs: Looped everyday: 1. My Girl, My Woman, My Friend – Jose Mari Chan & Regine Velasquez 2. Whenever You Call – Mariah Carey & Brian McKnight 3. First Romance - Jose Mari Chan & Regine Velasquez 4. I Don’t Know Much (But I Know I Love You) – Aaron Neville & Linda Ronstadt 5. You Are The Love Of My Life – George Benson & Roberta Flack 6. For All Of My Life – Mymp 7. When You Love Someone – Anita Baker & James Ingram 8. You’re My Everything – Diana Ross & Marvin Grave 9. Something In Your Eyes – Dusty Springfield 10. Laughter In The Rain – Neil Sedaka 11. I’ll Make Love To You – Boys To Men 12. It Might Be You – Stephen Bishop

…and occasionally 1. I Could Fall In Love – Selena 2. Always – Atlantic Star 3. Someone Like You – Dina Carol 4. Grow Old With Me – John Lennon 5. Woman – John Lennon 6. Loving you – Shanice 7. Saving forever for you - Shanice 8. Wanna Take Forever Tonight – Peter Cetera & Crystal Bernard 9. Tonight I Celebrate My Love – Roberta Flack 10. I Finally Found Someone – Barbara Streisand & Bryan Adams 11. Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You 12. Thank God I Found You – Mariah Carey & 98 Degrees 13. Touch Me When You’re Dancing – Carpenters 14. Especially For You – Kylie Minogue & Jason Donovan

I told him it’s impossible for that to happen, I love my bf.
He wrote in his most recent SMS, “Mmm…failed again.”

…and his previous SMS, “Hoping to be more than a friend, but less than your boyfriend.”
…before that, “Hoping to be more than a friend”
…preceding that, “I don’t mind anything else, I just wanna stay with you.”
…even before that, “Looking forward to be with you.”

Do we have masculine for “mistress”? First time ever someone offers to be my “male-mistress” or “mister”…despite knowing that I’m affianced. Similar to the incident with “the so called gay” (refer to previous post – the tale of a gay), I lagged a while in interpreting his words: “Hoping to be more than a friend, but less than your boyfriend.” until hubby enlightened me that it literally means “spare tyre”!
(B, ters no nid to b emo o to call fo a one – to – one fight…u d won, dling. U no wl hw I fl, luvya only. X wait to c u ts wknd. Shl we dnce? XXOO)

11.43 am: Received a call from an unknown number:

Caller : Hello Elise, morning, this is Pn. C speaking.

Me: Morning.

Caller : I am marking your test 1 and test 2 now, i noticed that you have missed out question 2, and it carries 6 marks. Would you like to do it?

Me: (What? You must be kidding me. Can i ?)

Caller: I dont want you to lose marks, since it’s a test, it’s ok. So can you come over this afternoon?

Me: Sorry i cant, im in KL…outside the campus.

Caller: Then how about tomorrow morning? Is it ok?

Me: Sure, thank you.

Caller: You are welcome, so i see you tomorrow morning ok?

Me: Ok. thanks.

Now i feel terrible. Why are you being so kind to me? I am aware of that…but i cant "acknowledge" that…there are words that i cant utter and feelings that i cant express..and i wish you could understand me…that my position doesnt permits me to do so. Because of who i am, and who i am close to..i have to distance myself from you, and my perception on you (i have to admit) was influenced - i have to dislike you. I think you noticed that - you asked me why i have been avoiding you and am not as jovial and talkative in your class. I wish i could tell you that ’she’ has done so much for me ever since i came here…she’s like a mother to me, hence the loyalty i have for her - i must stand on her side no matter what. You are good, kind (no doubt) and you never got mad like she did…that one reason is good enough to make you a popular lecturer. Why are you so concern about me? I’m just one of your hundred students…i was just lucky to score an A+ for your paper two sems ago, why are you looking up to me til today?

STOP!

I wish to be indifferent..

I wish my perceptions on you are not being influenced - i wish i could like you…in the same time, i wish your kindness wont change my perception on you - i have to dislike you. I trust with my heart all that ’she’ told me, but your kindness just seems to challenge the "truth"…i am so confused now.

I hate being in my shoes, my stand…sometimes, i just wished that im nobody to anyone…i dont want to be torn in between…

An excerpt from "oh girl". Note the highlighted lines.

…It started off, we were two peas in the pod
Motivated by love with the blessings of God
We were head over heels in this love thang
Funny ain’t it thinkin’ back, our friends thought it was just a fling
I used to call you on the phone, late night tip
Mackin’ to you in your ear, conversation well equipped
I used to make you laugh, I used to make you smile
But all the while your roommates were in denial
We felt a lot of jealousy from the very start
Your so-called friends kept tryin to tear us apart
They used to tell you all kinda lies
Just like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, the devil came in disguise
They transformed all your smiles into tears
To sabotage your happiness and blamed it on my busy career
I gave you everything, aimin’ to please
But I guess it wasn’t enough, ’cause now you ready to leave
But don’t go baby

What it do baby, don’t leave me hangin’ baby
I know you feelin this, I’m just sayin’ though
I know you hearin’ me, so don’t do it baby
You know I keep it real, just let me tell you somethin’

Lil’ momma been down with me for a while
When you tryin’ to smile I’m the one you like to dial
But lately I’ve been on a mission for commission
So while you at home wishin’ you was with me I’ve been missin’
But listen I’m tryin to lace you up with diamonds that glisten
I got a vision so baby you need to kill all the fiction
Don’t listen to what your friends sayin’, they just jealous
‘Cause they on the sidelines watchin’ while you in the game playin’
I’m just sayin’ you should be stayin’, but I ain’t trippin’
I’m in love with my money baby that’s how I’m livin’
You know I got you on my mind like an —-
And all of your naggin me and whinin’ it got me fed up
I’m on the grind hustlin’, stackin’ my cash
But you just thank I’m in the streets chasin’ after some —
Tryin’ to break that bread, I’m tryin to get that cake
But you complainin’ talkin ’bout you fin’ to skate, baby what it do

I’m tryin’ to tell you ’bout your friends hatin’
While they be over there complainin’
I’m just on my grind paper chasin’
You got them insecure thoughts in your mind
But instead of chasin’ hoes I be overtime on my grind
You steady listenin’ to the gossip in the beauty shop
But all them jealous single females want what you got
They would do anythang to take yo’ place
‘Cause everytime I come around they be givin me that sex face
You ridin’ shotgun in the James Bond Benz
With the frog-eyed lens on them 20 inch rims
So why you worried about your jealous so-called friends
I’m just on my grind tryin’ to stack me up some ends baby
I used to make you laugh, I used to make you smile
And all the while your jealous friends been in denial
I ain’t askin’ much, lil’ momma just keep it real
Either you’re down with me or not, baby what’s the deal

[why are friends getting bitchy and jealous over their friend's relationship...it made me wonder when i heard this song. To you who broke up coz u listened to your friends, too bad..do you regret now? and to you who are in the verge or breaking up coz you listened to your friends and to you who are doubting your love coz you listen to your friends, chill....have faith in your relationship and trust your sweetheart.]

Spoke to “mummy” about my practicum. Still no ‘green light” from her to let us do our practicum in Mahsa College. I know she’s trying hard to keep Kamar and I in Unisel. She said that we are pampered since our other course mates have no choice to decide while we are refusing all her offers. She said that she has decided to send Kamar and I to SM Sains and that’s final since we are so choosy. Oh no! No way…not school! I’m not going to school, all the protocols, regulations, dress code…no way! I had to turn her offer down again. She asked me why, she said she gave the privilege only to the both of us, as she trusts our ability since SM Sains is a good school. I know that but I have never planned to teach in school or become a teacher at all. I had no choice but to agree with her first offer – doing our practicum in Unisel. She’s happy and excited to hear that. Excited in the sense that she was talking non – stop about the practicum, and even offered to help us with the module and proposal. Before I could say anything, she handed me a course book on work place English and told me to read up during the break. Hmm, it’s not that bad anyway, after considering all the benefits…12 hours of work every week with allowance provided. The best thing is, I get to wear whatever I wish to, unlike school – strict dress code. She again added that right after the practicum, it’s easy for us to be absorbed into Unisel. She reinforced her point by talking about the pay (that’s what I like to hear), nearly 3K, which is double or more than any other Uni could offer. OMG, I’m already promised a job even before I graduate…counting the chickens before their eggs hatched huh? Yeah, my eyes are twinkling like Donald Duck’s – show me the money!

Shopping is what we love best. I am sure she misses me every weekend coz we were normally out shopping together. From time to time, we would share with each other fashion updates and stuffs we have added to our collection. Sometimes she would even ask me to get her the things she saw in the magazine via email and even MMS. We may seem to have so much in common but in fact, we differ in taste. Primarily, she’s a brand conscious person and I am not. On her recent trip to KL (last Sunday), she spent RM500 for a pair of CK jeans. I asked her why the extravagance. She gave me a very reasonable reply: “Even a waiter could afford to wear a Levi’s, so I don’t mind spending more for something not everyone is wearing.” She may have a point, if being “different” and outstanding is important to her. On the other hand, I strongly feel that “brands” are more to satisfaction than necessity. I mean, if you could afford it and if by putting on something branded could make you feel good and grand, so be it. But if you can’t afford it, always remember to ask yourself - do you need it? Any other jeans will do to cover your butt and make you look presentable in the same time, and you certainly won’t die wearing one without brand. It’s more important how you present yourself and how you dress up. “It’s not what you wear but how you wear it; it’s not what a person is wearing but who’s the person wearing it.”

Brand isn’t a necessity to me, only occasionally and sometimes depending on the situations. I rather spend more on gadgets, electronics and of course, FOOD. Therefore, this made me a bigger spender than her. In terms of fashion and clothing shopping, I would say that I’m an impulsive shopper. I tend to purchase stuffs that I don’t really need or like, especially clothes. “Buying without trying” is what I practise coz I hate the queue for the fitting room and the hassle having to undress-try-undress-dress process. Worse if you bring along a friend or a bf who tend to rush you as though you could get changed as fast as superman. Consequently, I had to give some of them away coz they didn’t look good on me or were too big for me. There are too many clothes in my hostel’s closet until I could wear a different clothes everyday for one whole semester, yet the desire to shop for clothing is always there. Of all the clothes I have got as presents, my all time favourite is the pink floral Korean top (by my sister) and the worse is the black spaghetti strap dress given by hubby (I wore for TESL nite – farewell for the seniors) coz it’s black and I hate black. The sexiest is the cyan sling top (by Er) and the most precious, the white floral blouse given by my dad. I wish I could own a boutique one day. From what I see most boutique owners are doing, they travel to China, HK, Thailand, Korea and Japan and come back with bags of clothes to be sold in their boutiques. A piece or garment is normally being marked up to at least 70 percent more than its original price. A dress priced at RM80 was bought for only 200 yuan (~RM20), shocking? So my tips for bargaining:

(1)   Don’t ever show you are interested even though you are.

(2)   Show indifference when the sales promoter provides recommendations.

(3)   Lie that you have seen the same dress for sale and was reluctant to buy it coz the price is (quote a price you are willing to pay for the dress – be reasonable!) and hint that if she’s willing to sell for a much lower price, you would buy it.

(4)   Don’t quote the price, let the promoter do so.

(5)   Confuse the promoter:

You:           How much is one?

Promoter:   RM50

You:           How about RM40?

Promoter:   Cannot lah, Best price. Cannot less anymore.

You:           (Bitch) Ok

(Delay for one minute and divert)

You:           Two for RM 80?

Promoter:  Ok lah.

You:           (Shit, just now say best price)

(6)   Have a good rapport with the promoter. Have a friendly talk with them, compliments helps.

I rate tips #6 as the most effective. Often, the promoter would let the cat outta the bag. They would “reveal” to you the origins of the items, who the owner of the shop is (if they aren’t) and sometimes even keep your numbers to keep you informed of new arrivals.

Try breaking my record in bargaining (From RM 49.90 to RM 25 – A total of RM 24.90) for a HK blouse at The Curve flea market. Good luck!

This is a continuation from the previous article "Lie detector".

Up and to the Left 
Indicates: Visually Constructed Images (Vc)
If you asked someone to "Imagine a purple buffalo", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Constructed" a purple buffalo in their mind.

Up and to the Right 
Indicates: Visually Remembered Images (Vr)
If you asked someone to "What color was the first house you lived in?", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Remembered" the color of their childhood home.

To the Left
Indicates: Auditory Constructed (Ac)
If you asked someone to "Try and create the highest the sound of the pitch possible in your head", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Constructed" this this sound that they have never heard of.

To the Right
Indicates: Auditory Remembered (Ar)
If you asked someone to "Remember what their mother’s voice sounds like ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Remembered " this sound.

Down and to the Left
Indicates: Feeling / Kinesthetic (F)
If you asked someone to "Can you remember the smell of a campfire? ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they used recalled a smell, feeling, or taste.

Down and To the Right
Indicates: Internal Dialog (Ai)
This is the direction of someone eyes as they "talk to themselves".

How this information is used to detect lies:

Example: Let’s say your child asks you for a cookie, and you ask them "well, what did your mother say?" As they reply, "Mom said… yes." they look to the left. This would indicate a made up answer as their eyes are showing a "constructed image or sound. Looking to the right would indicate a "remembered" voice or image, and thus would be telling the truth.

Final Notes:

*** Looking straight ahead or with eyes that are defocused / unmoving is also considered a sign of visual accessing.

*** A typical left-handed person would have the opposite meanings for their eye-directions.

*** As with other signs of lying, you should first establish and understand a persons base-behavior before concluding they are lying by the direction of their eyes.

*** Many critics believe the above is a bunch of bull***t. In my own experiments I have found these techniques to be more true than not. But, why not find out for yourself? Make up a list of questions that like the sample ones, and give them to your friends/family anyone who would be your guinea pig, observe their eye movements and record the results.