Chronicles of life

Never speak too soon, was what I was told when I proudly
declared that I love no babies or kids. To quote what Husna said: “When a baby
is born, God filled his mother’s heart with the utmost love one could measure.”
And she would suddenly acquire knowledge she has never learned before, from a
dummy on babies to a know-it-all mother; guess that’s what people call the ‘mother’s
instinct’. I was once too afraid to hold a baby, as a matter of fact, I had
never held a baby before. Now, whenever Ayden cries, I would dash to scoop him
up, cuddle and hush him all right. In every mum’s eyes, her baby is perfect –
in mine, Ayden is so adorable. He’s my light, hence the name Ayden, which means
fire, flame. I believe he has the ability to melt one’s cold heart, and he would
shine and glow like burning amber, and despite the fiery flame I found peace
and serenity in his innocent eyes. Spending days, weeks and dedicating every
minute observing, watching him grow just mesmerize me, I’m so “Look, how he’s
changed!” I noticed things that I never knew this tiny litty itsy bitsy cutie
pie would do. There aren’t words to describe enough the bliss and joy I feel
inside just by watching him grow each day. His blank stare makes you wonder
what he’s thinking, his occasional smirk makes you hysterical, his yawn makes
you sleepy, his frown makes you worried if you had upset him, his cry just
breaks your heart and makes you want to cry too.

Before even he was born, his daddy would always whisper to
him: “Be gentle Ayden, don’t kick mummy too hard”, “Don’t hurt mummy when
you’re coming out.” It might sound silly, but it must be a coincident that both
pregnancy and labour was a no sweat. He hadn’t given any morning sickness or
bizarre cravings, and labour was only 15 minutes minus contraction which was
merely back ache. Now, looking at him, feeling him with no belly-wall between
us, and even talking to him makes you wonder if he is the way he was inside.
Talking to him sometimes can be really exciting, especially when he seemed to
be responding to what you say. Don’t mothers just wonder, do babies understand
what we say? Of course, watching him sleep is even more entertaining than
Simpsons. Now I realize babies aren’t sound sleepers, they make funny yet
adorable sounds and noises that hadn’t got any onomatopoeia registered for
them. Better, they even smile and grin in their sleeps, and guess what, they
fart (really loud ones) too! I wonder if babies do have dreams. I read from
several articles that say babies dream when they sleep and it’s termed as REM
(Rapid Eye Movement) but the content and detail of the dream is unknown. If
this hypothesis is established, then babies must have emotions too, they would
feel proud, feel embarrassed, feel jealous etc.

I don’t know if this happens to other babies but Ayden is
behaving like an adult. He sleeps like daddy, and mummy sometimes. Prominently,
he would have his one hand under the pillow or cheek when he sleeps side ways,
and legs curled up – that’s how I would sleep. Or, he would sleep on his back
with both hands thrown to the back of his head, like his daddy. Recently, he
would let out a short loud cry or scream moments before he farts, and stop
abruptly after. From the medical perspective, I hope he isn’t suffering from
any pain or illness, I really don’t think he’s constipated as his feces is in
perfect texture :P. After diagnosing the symptom, I figured out that: he’s
camouflaging his fart with loud scream to distract, lest people would notice
him farting. The root of the problem dates back to his first two weeks - before
this, he would fart generously disregarding whatever and whoever around him.
But we would always tease him “Ayden has got the smelliest fart!” “Eee, Ayden
kentut! BUCUK!” “Ayden schmelly fart fart!”

Guess he could understand what we said, maybe he felt
embarrassed. Therefore, now he would scream real loud for no apparent reason
moments before he explodes wind, in hope to drown the volume of the fart with
his scream. But when he sleeps and doesn’t realize what he’s doing, he farts real
loud without any screaming or crying.

You earned friendship through wine and dine,

opulent the lifestyle you may lead,

unknowingly impoverished your heart is.

And it’s indefinite of what true friends
are –

relying on your affluence to imprison physique…

Erred, the soul is not yours to own.

Alas you are forsaken despite your munificence.

Contrarily, you miserly conserve trust –

refusing the essentials to nurture hearts.

Understanding was conjointly impaired and
crippled,

Eminently, you glorify yourself

leading you to only revolve around your own world.

Everyone around you is worthless but puppet

made to be slaved around by you.

Pounding every ounce of loyalty out of them,

lurking into their privacy and

obediently have they to devote their lives
to you…

You pompously snatch their time from their
families.

Every tick of clock is in fact one dewdrop

rolling down the cheek of his waiting fair.

-Indivara-

The other day I was sharing with my students that I would always make my Achilles’ heel a shining armour of mine one day. I would never let my weakness overpower me, hence my success today….

I went to a Chinese primary school and when I was in Form one, I opted out Chinese as a subject of study. Therefore, I was being placed in a class with mostly English speaking peers. I had no choice but to converse in English, despite how atrocious my English was. I was impeded to use the language in public, lest I would embarrass myself with a mouthful of broken English. English was the most dreaded subject then. To add salt to the wound, even my own cousins made fun of my English.
I was not discouraged, instead I was even more determined to improve and better my imperfection. Alas, who would ever imagine, I am a proud First Class B. Ed. TESL graduate today, and secured a job with a prominent University even before graduating. English, once my phobia, is now my forte. Looking back at those who once jeered, they are silenced now, why aren’t they laughing? I laugh last, therefore I laugh best. I owe them a ‘thank you’, their mocks were the impetus to my success!
I am proud and I am smiling proudly each time I look at my scroll, each time I see myself in the fiery red robe topped with the mortarboard. To quote what Shasha said: “I am even more proud to be able to make my parents and my hubby proud of me.”

This has got to be the greatest achivement! Much have been said about teachers leaving footprints in students’ heart and changing their lives
entirely. Like what Sha said, now that she understands what Mr. S meant by: Favouritism is one thing a teacher can’t help committing. Eventually, I would have students that i favour in every class i teach. No one would know who i favour as my favourites are always the ones i pick on.
…and every class i go to, there’s at least one student i would pressure to have his/her hair fixed. One boy took my words seriously and went for a hair cut…he transformed from Harry-Porter-with-Paul-McCartney’s hair into a gorgeous hunk.

Compare: Harry in the photo before his hair-cut and…
after

Well, I’m sure he will grow up to be a gorgeous man. At least, he has got a new look for his 18th birthday next summer. Will miss picking on him, and the rest…this is the best EEP class i have taught so far, i must admit.

……….the much cliched line - i like you just the way you are.
I have always admired Timbaland’s music, from the genius fusion of bollywood
and

hollywood in "Indian Flute" to the recent "The Way I are". Two thumbs
up for this latest hit. It’s a package of foot-tapping-catchy music and
meaningful lyric - which makes it a masterpiece, personally.

I simply love the song, I loop it everyday!

The music is effortlessly appealing, catchy I would say. Makes you wanna
move your limbs and dance… most importantly, I could relate to the words.
Simple yet really meaningful words, very genuine…how should i put it…hmm,
love the ’sincerity’ of the song. Yes, love the feeling of sincere and true
love the song gives:

I ain’t got no money

I ain’t got no car to take you on a date
I can’t even buy you flowers
But together we be the perfect soulmates
Talk to me girl

Oh, baby, it’s alright now, you ain’t gotta flaunt for me
If we go touch, you can still touch my love, it’s free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out til we get it right

Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
‘Cause I like you just the way you are
I’m about to strip and I’m well equipped
Can you handle me the way I are?

I don’t need the G’s or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
‘Cause I like, I like, I like….

I ain’t got no VISA
I ain’t got no Red American Express
We can’t go nowhere exotic
It don’t matter ‘cause I’m the one that loves you best
Talk to me girl

Baby girl, I don’t got a huge ol’ house,
I rent a room in a house
Listen baby girl, I ain’t got a motorboat,
But I can float your boat
So listen, baby girl, once you get a dose of D.O.E
You gon’ want some mo’
So listen, baby girl, when I’m naked I want you there,
Want you there, yeah.

yeah my money and me loof like feel me them,
and it’s realy not quite louis allason,
Your body ain’t Pamela Anderson,
Its a struggle just to get you in the caravan,
But listen baby girl,
Before I let you lose a pound I’ll buy a bigger car,
So listen baby girl,
I love you just the way you are, the way you are

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Thanks to Er, and thanks to IZZI, I’m able to resume online activities even after office hours, on weekends, at home, in the car, and everywhere I am at. Since it’s unlimited access for one year, I am definitely going to make my RM1130 worth paying. We streamed for movies, live TV, downloaded songs, movies and TV series, and even games…

I have been diligently doing some English-Mandarin translations, and had no idea who and what were they’re for. But one thing i know for sure - i’m paid a handsome RM 10 per script. It’s easy money i would say, not translating texts but short conversations…in average, less than 50 words per script.

Till recently, my AHOD told me those scripts are for RTM - mandarin, for one of the program to teach the listeners English. Who would ever believe, even i have trouble doing so…that those scripts conversed on air are my work!

Gee, guess my AHOD must have a great trust on me…or she must be a great risk taker to entrust me the task. My mandarin sucks…till at certain point i had to SOS Alice Tong for reference. BUt it’s all good…i have translated 23 scripts so far…
and every week i will be given 7-9 scripts…that’s a RM 360 extra every month…wow

Saturday was an exhausting day. Met up Er at KL Sentral and headed for Petaling street. Was rather a disappointing shopping trip as the earring stands that we liked weren’t for sell. The sun wasn’t being friendly, it was scorching hot and we all got giddy and uncomfy, hence killing our mood to linger on longer there. Got the Tibetan singing bowls and chanting wheel that my colleague wanted. Hubby called to ask for whereabout. Should have brought him along…missed him, felt bad leaving him at home, so we left immediately after getting the stuff and reached home at about 6.
Welcomed by Hubby, showed him the stuff i got…we prepared dinner together, had dinner and went to OU to get my baking necessities. Reached home at nearly 11, took shower and watched "Knocked Up". Dozed off in between the movie. Awaken by Hubby at 5am and continued my sleep…
Woke up really late the next morning, 11am. Was so exhausted and lazy to do anything. Called Alia and said she’s dropping by soon with Thom. Took my laptop out to work on EF Exam paper. Got it done in a jiffy. Bugged hubby to bake cookies with me…he looked adorable doing it. He did most of the work, beating the butter and sugar, sifting in the flour, laying cherries on the cookies…and of course eating the cookies.
Was extremely tired after the baking and cleaning up. Took a nap and was awoke at 7pm. Went out for dinner and took a stroll at the garden. Got home and soak ourselves in warm bath, reminiscing the good old times. Was about to go to bed but wanted to check on Ham-Ham and Buffy first. Fed Buffy and noticed that Ham-Ham had been quiet. Called her and there was no response. Checked inside her house and my fear was confirmed. Ham-Ham had left me…couldn’t hold back my tears…she was so peaceful, snuggled in her blanket, in her house. I felt so bad that i hadn’t spare time to play with her and to hold her for the last time, when i had the chance to do so Saturday nite, the last time i saw her running on her treadmill. Hubby said she’s depressed due to negligence, since i got Buffy. I wished i could rewind and undo…she went too soon she hadn’t got the chance to try my cookies…I let her rest in her house, wrapped the house up and sent her off to continue her new journey…

I am distancing the topic from the subject…as such I am generalizing this event, not relating it to anybody but in rage…

This is a story, a story of a sheer parable or maybe it’s not just a story after all… it’s an account of an ill and evil doing:

SIx decades or more ago, a conventional Chinese family was blessed with fortunes of property - lands, drained out of the sweat of the breadwinner. His 4 sons’ and 2 daughters’ fate changed ever. But his stubborn conservation of Chinese customs denied the equal rights and shares of his two daughters. On his death bed, he was somehow enlightened, and managed to make his elder son promise to equally divide the share of the shop lots, if ever sold.
15 years later, the promise was broken. The sisters are again denied of their share - they aren’t getting a quarter cent out of the "promised fortune". While the evil and crooked hearted brothers feast on the fortune…little did they know that God sees everything. Karma didn’t have to wait any longer…the elder son suffered a stroke. He survived the stroke though, he mustn’t die too easy, he ought to repent and to return what’s not his to the rightful.

I totally miss my parents…to have them over the entire month was really precious.
Everything reminds me of them…to see food on the table, to see bunny and ham ham fed, to see the apartment tidied, to have the laundry sent and collected, to simply have someone in the apartment…
Everywhere reminds me of their presence… OU, IKEA, Curve - where we went shopping often…the eateries near my apartment, and practically every corner in KL that we have been to…and the places we have traveled, Cameron, Malacca, Ipoh…
Missing them makes me all baby-girl again…brings me to tears…I so want to be have them over again…
So want to take a long leave to Kuching…